i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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