i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
