I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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