So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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