I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize