I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
