I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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