we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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