capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
