dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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