Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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