ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
