Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
