Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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