I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize