Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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