I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
