Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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