I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
