the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize