foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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