I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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