Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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