Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
soo... how was my night?
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