Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
