I think i peed on brittanys purse
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
