HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
