We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I touched a dick in church today
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
