Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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