did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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