"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Buhtt sex?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
