His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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