where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
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I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
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The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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