people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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