Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
