I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
