Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
