Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
