she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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