hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize