Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize