trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
