do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
