My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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