just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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