There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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