My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
