I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wish i was in the wii world.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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