my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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