So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
