guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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