brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
