i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
