My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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