what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
