can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
