Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
