Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
this will be a night to untag.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
